Ray+M

Ray M **__ Cognizance __**

**__ Chapter 1: Convalescence __**

//Oh no//, I thought as the pompous woman stood leaning on the seat in front of me. “Hey, I’m Katherine, but you can call me Kit!” she smiled. Her long, black hair was swept to one side. I glanced up, nodded disinterestedly and went straight back to reading. “Not much of a talker, are ya?” “No,” I bluntly replied. // I hate it when people chew gum with their mouth open. // She sighed and walked back up the aisle. //This flight is taking ages…// I wondered when we’d reach Mexico. Italy was a bore; I couldn’t wait to kick back and relax on the beach. The plane suddenly shook, and the seat belt sign flashed on in an instant. //I hate turbulence…// “We are experiencing turbulence. Please remain in your seats until we get this sorted—“ “We lost contact with command! Brace for impact!” The speakers roared suddenly, the initial calmness giving way to outcry. Panic was raised. Passengers started screaming. //What is going on?// I was thrown up out of my seat, suspended in the air, held down only by a mere strand of cloth. Blood surged to my head, my vision dissipated into a sea of colors. //Must. Stay. Awake…// Abruptly, the plane shuddered and fell still. Passengers and luggage careened hither and tither with the impact, and I knew that we’d crashed. Water rushed its way in, stripping away the oxygen that remained inside. Dizzy, frightened, and fatigued, I tried making my way to the door. Water flushed into my mouth, sinking my taste buds in a wretched flavor. My nostrils flamed. //We’re going to sink. I have to get out, I need air!// Pulling, pushing and kicking my way to the door, I seized the handle and pulled it down with a herculean effort. I reached for a rope that wasn’t there. I pulled myself up. Looking down, eyes burning, I noticed the others. The sudden realization kicked in that they were not moving, lifeless. The serene blue water was stained maroon red. Frantically clawing the water, I finally reached the surface. I exploded from the abyss, gasping for air. “Hey, you! Over here!” yelled a stranger in the distance. I sank back into the water and pushed my way towards the great yellow mass. Fighting for consciousness, my body assumed a mind of its own, hurtling forward with an inhuman drive. A hand grasped my arm and pulled me into the messianic vessel. Everything dissolved before my eyes. * * *   My eyes pried open. Light sprawled in. My arm reached for Penny, but only cool sand touched my arm. Slowly I took account of my surroundings. Sand, trees, ocean? //Am I in Mexico?// “Hey! He’s awake! Hey you, how ya doin’?” The features of the dark figure were hidden behind the sun. I recognized that voice. //Oh no, not again.// “Hey you! Y’alright?” Kit asked. “Uh, I guess. Are you alright?” I replied, with a hint of confusion. “You don’t know what happened, do ya?” she asked. I shook my head, fixed her in a blank stare and wondered aloud, “What happened?” “I’ll tell ya later, but right now we need let’s get you back to the others. Sound good?” I stood up and brushed the sand off my legs. I looked around; there were a total of three other people on this beach. Confused I followed Kit to the others. There was a tarp hanging between a few trees. Below it stood an extremely short, fat man. He had several minor cuts across his legs and a few on his face. Fatman was panting heavily, and wiped his scalp where no hair existed. I walked over to him; he was up to my chest in height. I looked down into his eyes and he nodded. “We need to stick together mate,” Fatman stated frankly, “We ain’t got nobody but ourselves.” The memories of the crash swallowed my thoughts. Somewhere inside I hoped it was just a bad dream. The waves started crashing onto the shore even harder than before. It was nearing darkness. Sinister clouds promulgated through the sky. //It’s probably going to rain tonight… wonderful.// I looked back at Fatman who was fixing up the mediocre shelter; then I glanced over to Kit who had been fixing her hair -- //typical// -- and noticed another figure jogging up the beach. Her brown hair almost looked black with the dimming light. She was wet. She was slender, and athletic. //Just like –.// “Checkin’ her out, huh?” Fatman slyly observed. “N-n-no. Of course not,” I stuttered, “just looks like someone I know.” “That’s Erin. She saved us y’know.” //Saved us?// Rain started pouring down from the sky. Everybody rushed underneath the ill-prepared tarp. Kit got close. I moved over. She looked at me and shook her head. //What did I do?// A sudden gust of wind blew the tarp away; it hung from one tree, fluttering, vulnerable to the wind. I rushed toward the tarp and threw out my arm to grasp it. Nothing had ever felt as good as the rigid plastic in that one moment. I looked back, stricken with triumph at the others who were staring desperately forward, and all I could offer was a feeble smile. In that instant, I became convinced that maybe we’d be able to make it through after all. A deafening crack split the air and I barely had time to glance up, until a splintered wooden body plummeted from the canopy and slammed toward the earth. I tried to scream at the others to take flight, but no sound left my throat, and the tree hit the ground with a deafening thud. It resounded in my ears and left a hollow, ringing feeling saturating my chest.

**__ Chapter 2: Lacking Vitality __** A grim scene lay before me. The ground was soaked in crimson liquid. The scene was all too familiar. Something had gone horribly wrong. It was something I knew how to fix. But I don’t have the tools//.// The rain quickly flushed away the blood as easily as though it had never been there in the first place. Everyone was white-faced, staring at the mess that remained. I forced myself to approach the gruesome sight, advertently wrapping the tarp around a tree in the process. I knelt down by the woman’s side and met her vacant, bewildered gaze. Around me were screams to help her. I softly brushed her dark brown hair off her face and whispered, “It’s going to be okay. I’m a doctor, I can help.” Yelling sounded from the beach. Fatman was laboring his way back – //where’d he go? –// with a red box in his hands. He passed the miracle to me as he gasped for air. I unzipped the box and sheltered the contents from the rain. Alcohol pads, gauze pads, tape. Quickly exposing the side of her body, I unfurled a roll of gauze and applied pressure to the wound with both hands. White cotton immediately turned red. “Fatman, put pressure on the wound, use both hands! Don’t worry, Erin. You’ll be fine.” He turned and cast me in a piteous stare, indignant at his christening. I glanced back sharply and he followed my command. I carefully equipped the tape, noisily peeling off a taut strand from the roll, and applied it firmly to the gauze. “Keep putting pressure on it -- I'm going to get some water," I snapped assertively as I hastened away from the woman to look for said supply.   Fatman grumbled something under his breath. I walked a few steps and noticed a few coconuts on the ground. Each coconut had cutouts at the top of these. It finally dawned in my mind that I’ve been unconscious for a while, if they’ve had time to make canteens. I promptly picked one up, checked to see if they were filled with water, and walked back. Kneeling down I opened her mouth and let her have a few sips.    “Is the blood easing up?” I asked gruffly.    He shrugged. Fifteen minutes had passed. By now, the blood flow should have slowed. Picking up some gauze pads and roller bandages I replaced the bloodied pads with fresh, white ones. I carefully lifted Erin just enough to let the bandage wrap around her body successfully. After wrapping it around a few times I took out a bobby pin and pinned the bandage together. “You’re all fixed up,” I said. She grunted, “Thank you.” “It’s my job,” I smiled faintly at her. Groaning, I lowered myself to a spongy seat on a sodden log. By this time the rain had subsided, but the dark clouds still hung ominously in the air. Darkness had consumed the island. A chill ran down my spine. //We’re all wet; she’s probably cold. If that were a proper first aid kit, then it’s got to be in there.// Blindly feeling the ground to move, I groped around until I found the box. Pawing my way through its contents I felt it in my hands, stowed away on the side. The emergency blanket. “We have no more jobs. All of it is gone. It’s just us, here, on this god-forsaken island,” she murmured into my ear as I delicately placed the blanket over her. My head sagged wearily, for there was an element of veracity that rang in her words. Fatigue fell my body against the base of a tree, and I pondered what she'd said, replayed them over and over in my head. With time, my eyelids became gradually more weighted. Finally, I allowed them to shut, and permitted my body to descend into oblivion. * * *   My mind released from the dark state of a dream. Slowly, allowing my eyes to adjust to the burning beam, I pried my eyelids open, rolled onto my stomach and pushed myself up. My body ached from the uncomfortable position I had been sleeping in. //Gotta stretch to stay limber.// “It’s Marco,” Fatman said solemly. “Good morning. What’s Marco?” “My name, it’s Marco.” My face flustered – I had forgotten about last night. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it,” I sputtered out. “My name’s Marco.” “Yes sir, I’m so sorry.” I walked toward Erin. She was still on the ground. Her eyes opened and stared at me. “I want you to rest. Don’t go moving around for a few more days, and we have to clean out those gauzes soon. Sound good?” I grinned at her, “You’ll recover in no time. I promise.” She nodded back, and closed her eyes once again. I looked around the beach and couldn’t find Kit. //Where could she have gone?// If we wanted to survive here we’re going to need to get some food, and that wasn’t possible if everyone was running off all the time. As appetizing as it appeared, we couldn’t live on coconuts for the rest of our lives. “I am the King of the Jungle!” a womanly voice yelled. I peered around and stared in shock. There stood Kit with a sharpened spear, covered in blood.

**__ Chapter 3: Atonement __** Fire licked the dismembered underbelly of the once immaculate fish, portions which currently resided in my stomach and along my unkempt beard. Distant calls of varied wildlife continually sounded in the air. Warm sand lay beneath my body. Steadily, I let my eyes wander off into the infinite abyss; birdsong lulled my senses into an irreversible coma. The breeze whispered through my hair, letting the heat escape and the cool air to take its place. Tongues of foamy water gently lapped the sand at the fringe of the sea. Unconsciously, my thoughts strayed from sanity and delved into a tapestry of dark incidents I thought I’d forgotten. Months we’d spent trapped on this hellhole, and our circumstances had gotten progressively worse. The culmination of this unravelling became evident at the descent of one of our number into sheer madness—the girl named Kit had teetered over the edge and gone on a rampage driven by misanthropy. I retched to remember the trail of dead wildlife she’d left behind her, and in her animalistic zeal the attempt she’d made to turn her rage on the rest of us. My eyes drifted to the creases of my hands, which still seemed stained with the blood that had splashed there when I acted. I did what I had to, I told myself. If I hadn’t intervened, she would have wasted us. //All my life I’ve trained to save lives,// I mused, //and now I live with the burden of having taken one.// Absentmindedly, I discerned a presence that had come up beside me. Speech; however, the words were yet beyond me. A faint buzz rang in my ears. Instinct drew me to swat at the pest, which hovered at my left ear. Clarity retook my brain, replacing the abstractions that had taken nest there, and noises became distinct once more. “Hey there! You in a trance or something?” Erin said from beside me. I silently nodded, groping to salvage the stoic state of reverie that now fleeted away from me. The clouds gradually made their dark, hulking puffs apparent in the sky. Shimmers of blue crackled through the grey masses floating there. The light quickly faded, replaced with a sinister darkness. Then in a stroke of finality, the wrath of Zeus violently smote the sand, shattering my hypnotic state once and for all. As I shot up, I noticed the darkened sculpture, which remained on the ground to remind the world of its fury. Erin gazed in awe. “It’s beautiful.” “It’s dangerous!” I replied, my voice complete with an inflection of fear. I backed away from the image of the menacing structure, a blank expression upon my face. Suddenly I heard laughter behind me. Erin was doubled over in response to my reaction. My face flushed. Turning away with tacit indignation, I walked toward the massive jungle that crouched in the middle of the island. //It’s going to rain... I better not make a fool of myself and venture too far in.// Arms crossed, I walked through the thick-wooded jungle. Eventually, I came to a beautiful tree, looking as though it were almost relaxing as it coiled out of the ground. Few, but thick, branches adorned its face. I grabbed hold of one and climbed up. My hands and feet stung with splinters from the bristling bark. Managing to reach the peak, I settled into the crook of two limbs and looked back at the ocean. The waters seemed terrifying—waves roared and crashed, the light was ever so dim. Deadly blue sparks continued to flicker against the ominous clouds, highlighting the silhouette of a tiny form, moving across the deep blue carpet. I squinted, fighting against myself to make the image clearer. Then it struck me. I tumbled down the tree and raced for the beach, screaming at the top of my lungs, frantically waving my arms in the air. I remembered the fire, then sprinted to get more wood and piled it up as high as I could. Throwing leaves and wood in by the armful, I prayed and hoped and cussed for smoke, but it yielded none. I needed more tinder. Rushing into the woods, cutting open the soles of my feet across the sharp rocks which lay about scattered about the forest floor, I desperately searched for the stack of firewood we had gradually built up. Upon reaching it, I heaved as much as I could carry and dashed back. In my haste and against the load I hefted, my vision was impaired, and without warning I slammed into something and the tinder went flying. There stood the solemn, beautiful, taunting tree. The lightning struck, the succeeding thunder assaulting my ears. I heard a snap, and barely had time to cry out as the immediacy of the situation sunk in. The beautiful, dangerous tree came crashing down upon me. * * *   My face was covered in dirt. All around me lay parched leaves and broken twigs. Struggling to stand, I found I could not mobilize my limbs—I could not feel anything. I lay here, alone in the crouching jungle, doomed to my fate. After years of arduous persistence and taxing myself I realized that all my work to provide for a better life, could not save me in my time of need. In a time forgotten, I had committed myself to helping others, saving them from the dark reaping. Fixing their troubles and their pain, letting them live life to their fullest. But in the end, who was there to save me? Of all my years of helping patients, the one person whom it was my duty to take care of, to protect, and to heal had been neglected. My job, my duty, my purpose. Unfulfilled. Feet shuffled. I sensed bodies drawing nearer, scraping among the wreckage. They came to see. Above my field of view, Erin and Marco stood in horror. They understood my plight, but they didn’t understand theirs. //One last goal can be fulfilled.// Those words passed through my mind at a steadily slowing pace, until they were the last things I knew, stagnant characters of light against a dark plane. My fingers curled feebly around the body of a crumpled leaf, my wrist craned an inch, and one word dropped like a stone from my mouth: “Ship.” Then the colours started to recede. Tears filled their eyes. Watching someone go is never easy, especially when you cannot do anything about it. I knew that it was the end for me, and I surrendered. My last moments saw my eyes fall shut, and I floated toward a sea of light. * * *   It was a rainy afternoon in autumn, and a woman with raven hair sat before the window in her living room, wracking herself with tears over the news of her lover’s death. She clung frailly onto the jacket of another for support, the other woman named Erin, who had shared her husband’s ordeal. Erin comforted her, but the tears would not cease. They fell freely, staining the Persian carpets, veiling the marble columns and the satin tapestries and the leather furniture. A house, a home, filled to brimming with luxury sat forgotten. Even in its overlooked state, everything seemed to be of lavish stature and in pristine condition. Everything except the brown-eyed individual whose knees were buckling. Outside, the rain continued to fall.